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When do men get to be vulnerable?
The answer is more simple than we think
The notion that men don’t have or feel feelings is widely believed by many women. I too, once thought this. Until I came to understand that men, do have feelings and go through the emotional turmoil like women, it’s just expressed different.
Think about our societal norms and conditioning of boys and girls. Girls are encouraged or at the least not criticized for showing emotion. Boys are discouraged or downright shamed for showing emotion. Because to men, showing emotion is a weakness. Being vulnerable is the quickest road to heartbreak that could demobilize a man for an eternity. For a lot of men, vulnerability is something to avoid or minimize at all costs.
A conversation with a male associate of mine shed some light on the topic. Listening to him speak on a personal matter, his frustration and dissatisfaction of it was loud and clear. It was a light bulb, what am I doing, type moment.
“This is your family,” I replied while shrugging.
“Men go through stuff too. But you know men can’t be vulnerable,” he shot back.
“Be tough! Be strong!” he said mockingly.
We chuckled at his sentiment as we parted ways. But his statement of how men can’t be vulnerable stuck with me.