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Real Spill: The truth about closure
Six years ago a decision had to be made that would change the course of my life. After one year of being separated from my then husband, I asked one simple question.
“Do you want a divorce?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” he said with a bit more emphasis.
“Ok.”
A year later I filed without any further questions, confirmation, or conversation.
His answer, though it stung, didn’t warrant an explanation. What could he say to make his reply hurt any less? What more could he have said to help me better understand that our marriage was over?
Nothing. And I knew it.
All the predetermined thoughts led me down the path of accepting what was when it came to it. Any thing else was looking for closure, and in this instance, was impossible.
The truth about closure, is that there’s no such thing. The situations we tend to look for closure are highly emotional. Human beings are emotional creatures. Constantly feeling the highs and lows of life.
In my case of heartbreak even with time, there will be triggers, sparked memories, flashbacks. We may forgive yet rarely forget. Because emotions are unforgettable.
This is why instead of searching for closure, I chose acceptance. Acceptance may not help in forgetting. But it for darn sure has helped in moving on, in peace.
