Real Spill: The Real Reason I Filed Child Support

2 min readOct 4, 2022

Since the day we met, my ex and I were inseparable. Two peas in the pod. The male and female versions of each other. And boy were we in love.

The problem with the beginning, is that you don’t see the middle or end.

Our end, after two children and a decade and a half later, landed a debit card in my hand. A predetermined amount credited weekly via direct deposit.

This was my child support.

Enter divorce court following two years separated; the judge asked me about child support. I informed him we had our own agreement.

“In the event he stops doing what he’s supposed to, come see me,” said the judge.

“Yes sir.”

3 Years Later…

Per a family member I was advised to file and “secure my money”. All due to him taking new vows. Why? I thought. Why mess with what he’s been voluntarily doing? If he cuts it off, he cuts it off. Which he probably won’t do.

Or at least I thought.

A year into his marriage, he pulled the plug. No warning. No conversation. Nothing.

No thought of financially what it could do to me. Internally there were feelings of betrayal, burning anger, and shock from him giving me and his son’s his butt to kiss.

My emotions spoke. I heard to file out of hurt. Payback for what he’d done. Along with moving on so effortlessly, seemingly.

Every thought said to spew venom at every turn. With no time, place, or audience off limits. Our kids, our parents, family, everyone needed to know the piece of sh*t he really is.

This ladies, is our brain on heartbreak.

Instead of filing out of hurt, or even worse, forgoing filing at all to “prove a point” that I didn’t need or want his money, that I’m a strong single mom who could do it on her own, I decided to get back to the kids.

I needed to file for them.

My son’s, our son’s deserve it all. Everything they are supposed to get — it’s my job to get it.

This is not about begging, or forcing someone to do something they don’t want. This is about accountability.

Nor is this about being vindictive any more than simply finishing what he’d started.

My boys are a brand — a business. Monies can be used in the nurturing, development, and growth of that business. In whatever way that may be. Food, clothes, savings, investments, tutoring.

It’s up to me as their mom, prayer warrior, guider, protector, liaison, proxy, to get everything owed.

And I will.