Real Spill: The Problem Is…You’re Doing Life Wrong

Shannon Vaughn
2 min readJun 28, 2022
Photo by Anita Jankovic on Unsplash

Seven years ago I ended the two longest relationships I’ve had in my life. One professionally through my job. The other personally, through my relationship. After ten years on the gig and fifteen in the relationship, I decided enough was enough, and made the decision to let both go.

I may have made it sound easier than it was. Well, leaving the job was easier than the relationship. That one took some doing. And years later still takes some doing.

Welcome to the reality of co parenting.

For the first couple years out, former close co workers would ask if I’d ever return. Family wondered if a reconciliation was possible. To both the answer was always no. Not because the situations were so bad. But because both had clearly run their course. And I, unlike others, recognized it and took matters into my own hands, made a decision and stuck to it.

Honestly, this is when I’m at my happiest. Because I’m in control. Shannon is in the driver seat of her car.

Sometimes in life, relationships, friendships, career, we sit and wait. We hold out hope, have faith that things will change. The people involved will change in our favor, so things will be exactly how we want or need them to be, to finally move forward. We become angry and bitter. Lash out in resentment. Morph into a person we hadn’t been before.

This robs us of our power. To hand someone or something the reigns, to wait on another’s decision, is not only stifling but counterproductive to what the universe has in store for our own lives.

Life is fragile and precious. Time is too short to leave make or break decisions in the hands of someone else.

Never mind what your employer is going to do. What are YOU going to do? Partner dragging their feet on commitment? Okay, what are YOU going to do is the question.

Resting on someone’s indecision is a decision. And far from an excuse to not move on and forward in your life. Don’t take the easy route.

Take ownership in everything YOU.

Shannon Vaughn

I’ll think of a bio later. Tik Tok: hereisshannon