It’s time to stop giving parenting 100%

Kids have to learn to give something too

Shannon Vaughn

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Photo by Tara Winstead via Pexels

My parents never told me parenting wasn’t easy. However they did advise the usage of birth control when I became of age. Guess that was my fair warning.

As a parent to a now 21 year old son, last week was one of the hardest, painful weeks I’ve endured as a mom in a long time.

On a trip home from picking him up from school, the conversation steered in the direction of how he feels other people see him, what is not going right in his life, etc. Each time we have the same circular conversations that leave me flustered.

This night ended horribly. During a stop at my mom’s house to pick up my youngest son, I was yelling at my son so hard I failed to unlock the door for his brother to get in.

He had said some unforgivable, unforgettable things in response to my response to his disrespect. Thank God my mom was there to diffuse the situation. She offered to let him spend the night, sighting it was better we were split.

That night in bed and the next morning I couldn’t help but think of all the sacrifices, hard work, job and schedule changes I’d made over the years to be as present of a parent as possible. Never the perfect parent. But vowed to give motherhood 100% reading that pregnancy stick.

Time flies and kids grow fast. The reality of him being a true adult hadn’t quite hit me prior to our verbal altercation. Now it has.

And that means I can’t give him all the answers or even attempt to. Nor can I be his punching bag every time he feels sorry for himself. How will he grow? Build resilience? Time to unleash the reigns.

A Kindergarten teacher once told me, “Parenting is a lifetime job.” To an extent it is.

A couple days later he apologized with a hug.

Moving forward, I’m scaling back on my parenting from giving 100% to my best real quick. It’s the best thing to do for both our sakes.

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