I kicked alcohol to the curb for the second time

Now what?

Photo by Shutter Speed on Unsplash

Myself and alcohol have a strange, attached relationship. Similar to an ex one can’t seem to let go of. We break up. Life happens. They double back. We let them then breakup again.

What a cycle.

My last sobriety stint lasted three years after prayers to God had been answered. The saying He doesn't come when you want, but is always on time is true. A bad argument with an ex (here we go again) led me down an alcohol free path.

I can’t say my life did a complete 360 during those years. I felt better, physically. No more waking with a slight headache or in a daze. Financially more dollars stayed in the pocketbook. And socially I’d learned fun could be had sober.

Perhaps the most surprising revelations from having mental clarity were the possible causes of why I loved to drink in the first place. To an extent my ex was a trigger. But, I also come from a line of drinkers in my immediate family. My father was a drinker. His grandfather was a drinker. Maybe scientific evidence of alcoholism or some dependence on it being hereditary was true in my case. Something I hadn't considered before.

There was no extreme incident that led me out of sobriety. For my 40th birthday I’d planned a small gathering with guests whom I knew…