Every divorced woman should do this!

How not to get screwed in the dating pool

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

The number of times I’ve heard divorced women proclaim how they won’t remarry is neither daunting or surprising.

Women give so much in relationships, that hearing the gavel’s slam could be the sound of relief to many newly divorced wives in courtrooms. Despite the reasoning behind a divorce, there is one thing about marriage that’s inarguable — it remains the highest form of commitment.

You know what’s crazy? The amount of divorced women who re-enter the dating pool, accepting less than what they had previously.

Hear me out.

Whenever we’re in the market for a new job, mentally we run down the list of credentials, experience, licenses, certifications, job titles, etc. We google compensation and benefits in accordance to geographical location. We research the whole nine, and construct a resume with every quality we have pertaining to the position.

During interviews we’re sure to talk ourselves up along with expected pay if negotiable. Who says they’ll accept $20,000 less?

My question is: For women who would marry again, why are you not using your previous experience of marriage, as a means to get what you really want? Whatever you had in your previous relationship that was good, why aren’t you getting it out the new relationship?

It is my belief, no one wants to be in a casual relationship forever. Deep down we all yearn for a real connection, real commitment from someone even if it’s not the partner we’re currently seeing.

So often I see divorced women settle for situations with men because its easier or they’ve told themselves they don’t want more out of fear of not getting it.

Regardless of how bad you’re previous relationship was, there was something good being done consistently that kept you in it long term. What was that? Do you want it again?

If so, and it’s something you’re not getting, let the person know this is something you’ve received before, and have that expectation now.

Hey, not wanting to remarry is cool.

What is not cool, is making it to the top, to come back down and settle.

Vouch for yourself. Speak up for yourself.

A closed mouth never gets fed.